Chapter five

There was a time in my life when I worked for Electrolux going door to door selling vacuums. Six months on starvation rations was about all I could stand, so I quit and went to work for John Hancock peddling insurance. Both companies had one thing in common: daily sales meetings.

These meetings had two purposes: boost the morale of the salespeople not making a living (most of us), and teach us selling techniques so we would. As part of the morning ritual was to get us oriented on a life style that was higher than the one we were living. We were told we could have boats, fancy cars, big houses, earn a $100,000.00 +. (Remember, that was in the 70s.) How much we made was all determined by how much we wanted. All we had to do was sell, sell, sell. The key to our success, we were told, was up to us. All we needed was the determination to succeed. If we had the determination, they had the products that would get us there.

It sounded good to me, and I knew I had the determination to succeed. So, when I quit John Hancock and became a painting contractor, I carried all that hype with me. I was convinced it was up to me how much money I made and how big my company became. Believing in the slogan, “You are what you think,” I had decided to become the largest painting contractor in the Tidewater area of Virginia.

I went after business in a grand way and, because I was a good salesman, my business grew fast. Too fast. Before I knew it, I had painters going in every direction of Virginia. I had money coming in by the wheelbarrows full. Unfortunately, it was going out by truck loads. Soon I had outgrown my management capabilities. Paydays would roll around and there wouldn’t be enough money to pay both my employees and myself, too. Before I realized what was happening, I was trying to live on less than eighty dollars a month. Even in ‘75 that wasn’t enough.

Having recently moved there from San Jose, California, I didn’t know anyone except my brother. We lived on different social levels and had different interests, so, in addition to my business problems, once again I was lonely, miserable and broke. Except for my kids I had no one to talk with except God. At this point, however, my relationship with God seemed to be one way—I prayed my buns off while God rolled over, yawned and went back to sleep.

This was the situation when some evangelists came by to chat one evening after work. After exchanging pleasantries, we got to the nutty nitty gritty of their visit...

After they left I started my evening ritual of meditation and prayer. It was then I realized that, even though I disagreed with their door to door “accept Jesus and repent” philosophy, I did, in fact, believe Jesus was the son of God. “Maybe,” I thought, “I should make a formal declaration to this effect. Tonight, I decided, I would do just that.”

Sooo, during meditation I formally surrendered my life to Jesus. Well, almost anyway. For some unknown reason, I offered Jesus my personal life but told Him, “You don’t need to bother with my business, I’ll take care of that.”

At the time I thought I just didn’t want to bother poor little old Jesus with the mundane affairs of running a business. Why should He be bothered with chasing down my money? Why should He be bothered with bookkeeping entries? I’m sure it had nothing to do with any unethical business practices I might be using.

In my effort to become the largest contractor in the area, I did whatever I felt necessary to achieve my goal. If a question of honesty or ethics arose, hey, I mean, what’s a fellow to do, right? I conveniently put God and Jesus high on a shelf and out of sight, right up there with honesty, goodness and spirituality. I also took them down whenever convenient, such as in the morning and evening when I meditated. And, (of course), I prayed for help with my slightly less than ethical dealings.

Anyway, my social life made a hundred and eighty degree turn around. I became active in a church, started teaching Sunday school and was on most of the church committees. I even led a class on the “Spiritual Life of the Christian.” Shoot! I was invited to parties and out for dinner. Socially I was successful and happy.

It wasn’t until nearly three years later that I woke up to what was going on. I was downstairs in my office one morning preparing for the day. I sat at my desk with my pencil in my hand while contemplating both the day’s schedule and the amount of money coming in as compared to the amount of money going out. Suddenly I knew this was pure garbage. I couldn’t live this way any longer. In exasperation I flipped my pencil high in the air, flopped back in my chair and said, “That’s it! I can’t take it anymore! God, you’ll have to take the business too.”

My God, (literally) what a turn around. For the first time since getting out of the navy (nine years earlier) I began earning a decent living. I started working for honest people. I no longer had to chase after money. Within a month I had painted two churches—I hadn’t even estimated one prior to this. Life became worth living.

This is the point where I started living what I believed. Prior to this I had been actively seeking, but had not yet put the knowledge gained through seeking into my life style. I was afraid to trust God with my life because I thought I might have to change the way I lived¾which was lousy anyway. It’s amazing how we hold on to things we’re familiar with, even though we know they harm us[1].

Because I prayed, asking for divine help without living a spiritual life, I not only didn’t prosper, I sincerely believe I was actually being held back. In order to spiritually grow, I needed to learn to live what I believed. I needed to learn to live a spiritually honest and forthright life. This same principle applies to everyone. When we reach up in prayer asking God to help us, we must be willing to change and to live out of what we believe. This how we grow spiritually.

If I had been a painting contractor who never prayed and didn’t care a whit about God or spirituality, I could have been a ruthless business man who prospered. Most of the richest organizations in the world are non-spiritual in nature. They don’t care about anything other than the almighty dollar—the bottom line.

When we go through steps leading to spiritual growth, such as praying, meditating, going to church, synagogue or mosque and yet our life is still filled with non-spiritual habits, such as hating, criticizing, lying, cheating, stealing, gossiping, etc., we are failing to grow. These are like fences keeping us away from God. We can see it, we can sense it, we can feel it, but we can’t get there. Even though God is on the fringe of our life, we don’t seem to prosper.

In this regard, it’s like getting hired by a major corporation and getting none of the benefits associated with that company. We’re in the spiritual Family all right, but we’re not participating fully in all the Family benefits. Even though our prayers may get answered, we don’t seem to reap any advantage from the answers. That’s because we don’t get rewarded for wrong thinking, cheating or lying. But gently, ever so gently, God continuously works to bring us into universal alignment, meaning that we become loving and forgiving people.

Fortunately, God accepts us as we are, complete with flaws, blemishes and scars. The thief on the cross led a blemished life right up to the end (as far as we know). Yet, with the first step at the very last moment, he slid into heaven. (See Luke 23 regarding the crucifixion, but more specifically, verses 39 through 43.)

Yep! Once we’ve taken the first step, we’re in the family, alright. This means that, even though we may not reap full benefits, we are sometimes used to bring help to others. For example:

After moving back to Virginia from San Jose, my greatest desire was to move out west again. Only one thing stopped me: money.

Prior to giving God my business, one morning I was down stairs in my office and going over my books. Suddenly I realized we were about to clear over three thousand dollars on the jobs we were finishing. Excitedly, I sprang out of my chair and rushed upstairs to spread the good news. “We’re going to Californy!”

All the rest of the day I was mentally packing the truck while visualizing myself traveling across country. Yup! All day I was one happy traveler, headed west. That evening, however, the phone rang…

“We need your help. Papa has to go into the hospital and there’s no one here to take care of me. Can you come?”

My mother had been the victim of two strokes, two by-pass operations and Parkinson’s disease and, at that time, she had been bed-ridden for nearly eight years. My dad had been taking care of her alone during this period, but now he needed help.

The trip to Florida for a one month stay, while supporting my family in Virginia, came to $3016.32. The amount of money I cleared? $3016.92. I suspect the trip probably cost $3016.92 and I made $ .60 error.

There are no half way measures in living a spiritual life. We either are or we aren’t. So if you find yourself on the same treadmill day after day, praying for change, but nothing’s happening, or, if it does, it has the wrong results, perhaps it’s time to take stock of how you’re living. Sort of flop back in your chair, flip your pencil in the air and say, “God, you’re going to have to take my ......... (whatever it may be), too!”

Most of us hold something back from God, possibly because we’re ashamed of it. Sometimes, however, because we’ve obligated ourselves to God, we’re able to justify our wrong deeds and thoughts. Members of the KKK do this regularly, as do all supremacist groups, white or black. It’s now time to let go of the hatred. We can never hate or harm anyone and have it justified because we believe in God.[2]

All of us seeking to grow spiritually must first make a conscious commitment and dedication to do so, which must then be followed by effort. After making our commitment, the spiritual learning process becomes both a conscious and unconscious procedure. You may not have any idea of what it is you’re supposed to do, so pray for two things: protection from being misled; secondly, pray for guidance and help.

Simply put, spirituality is living in close association with the Divine through belief, faith and trust. Most of us would have no problem with that, if that’s all there was to it. The hard part is learning to combine our spirituality into our life styles. This is not as easy as it might seem because it often requires breaking life-long habits. Like anything else of value, it seems that spirituality must be earned.

In this regard, “The best things in life are free,” is not always true. Except for appreciation of life, nature and beauty, nothing in life worth having is free. Nothing has any value if it isn’t earned, meaning that we have to put forth an effort. Those people who are trying to lose weight must put forth an effort; the effort is in the form of denial, and it is not easy because it requires changing a lifetime of habitual snacking. But those who are willing to make the tremendous sacrifice lose weight. It’s the same with those who are trying to quit smoking; they must put forth an effort in the form of denial in order to stop, which takes tremendous willpower. (However, recall Sylvia’s story in the shower.)

The effort that is required to achieve these goals is often pure agony because it requires overcoming habits that have taken a life time to acquire. This type of effort starts in the mind with a decision to overcome the physical habits that afflict us because our entire life is guided by our mind and thoughts¾most of which are unconscious. Reaching for more food or another cigarette is not a conscious thought. It is a reaction to habits established over the years. (With cigarettes there is also a chemical addiction.)

Almost everything we do is out of habit. Gossiping is a habit we have developed, as is stealing, working, dressing, brushing our teeth, driving a car, etc. Our habits are our thought patterns that help develop our life styles. Whatever life style we’ve developed is another habit.

That is why I had to overcome the unethical habits I had developed when I carried my selling thought patterns into my painting business. In my determination to succeed I always put my wants ahead of the needs of my clients. This is not living in accordance with the highest principles of the universe¾“love your neighbor as yourself.” Had I put my clients needs first, my own needs would have been filled anyway, because everything is reciprocal. It works because like attracts like.

My clients still needed their house painted and I was the contractor they were talking to, so, what’s the difference? The difference is a very subtle change of attitude. Yes, my clients still needed to have work done, but my reason for doing the work shifted. After surrendering the business, rather than worrying about how much money I was going to make, or what was the quickest way of doing the work, or where could I get the cheapest materials, I became concerned about the best way of fulfilling their needs. Their interests took priority over mine. When tempted to do something quicker or easier I would hear that “thought voice” ask, “Would you do it that way if you were painting for God.”

The answer was always clear. And it often was the quicker, easier way. Plus I knew I had done it to the best of my abilities. That meant my conscience was clear.

Whatever you do for someone else, do it as though you were doing it for God, because you actually are. Every human being on the face of the earth is a child of God, even though they, themselves, don’t know it, act like it, or recognize it. See if that doesn’t make a difference in your life. (See Matthew 25:31-45: whatever you do for another, you’re doing it either to or for God.)

There is a branch of the New Age philosophy that believes it doesn’t matter who we harm or what we do. That nothing is either bad or wrong; it is only an experience we have. This type of thinking tells us that, “Hitler did no wrong. He was just having an experience.” This type of thinking says that, “ISIS does no wrong—they’re just having an experience.”

Nut! We’re not here to hurt people or “have an experience.” This is our birth place. Here is where we make the ultimate decision to become children of the universe, or live a life that is terminated at the grave. We’re here to develop spirituality through finding faith and belief. We’re here to reach for God in any manner we can understand, and live out of the principles of our loving faith. All who truly learn to love God also learn to love their neighbor. (I also believe this is sometimes reversed; that people come to God by their natural love of people.)

God is in all human beings, but not every life is a spiritual one. Any life willingly shared with God becomes a spiritual life. That is why God is so willing to forgive the sinner. The life of a “spiritual sinner” differs from the life of a saint only because they have attained different spiritual levels of sensitivity, understanding and receptivity. [3] The people of history deemed to be ‘saints,’ spent years in preparation through prayer, meditation and living out of what they knew. The spiritual fledgling has spent far less time in prayer, meditation and discovering the will of God, but are still the beloved children of God.

Belief, faith and trust are developed through our desire to learn, know and follow the will of God. This will eventuate into love because the will of God is that we learn to:

The extent to which we know and follow the will of God is an indication of our attained level of spirituality. Our “level” is something none of us know or are aware of, either in ourselves or in others.

If you’re a parent who enjoys your children, you can understand our relationship with God. If you were a happy child who loved and enjoyed your parents and family, then you understand our connection with God. This is the relationship of the Creative Parent with the entire universe, including earth. Our involvement as children of the Supreme is to:

Spiritual growth is only attained by learning, understanding and living out of the nature of God. It is a gradual process that first begins by the recognition, feeling, or sense that there is “Something More,” and that Something” is normally called “God.” This often leads to “church investigation.” (The type of church depends only on our family, our country or our ethnic origins.)

If our searching continues, our pursuit of spirituality will eventually lead us to the point where we begin to both to feel the presence and hear the voice of Deity. This is very special and wonderful time that cannot be described. (The joy that is felt throughout the universe when a person begins to hear and respond to the inner voice of Deity, is the same joy a parent feels when a baby is born, takes his or her first step or says his or her first word.)

It is unfortunate that the word “spirituality” so often brings to mind a long robed, sandal clad, starry eyed mystic perched atop a huge mountain in Tibet. Usually this person is either a hermit or lives in a small monastery surrounded by a handful of proselytes. Always he is being sought out for the wonderful words of wisdom that drip from his tongue like honey.

Spiritual people do not shun the real world. Instead, they live in it among ordinary people. The truly spiritual person bravely faces the same risks, trials and tribulations everyone else does, because spirituality is obtained by overcoming the material hindrances of the world—not in escaping or hiding from them.

In addition to living in the real world, spirituality is obtained by being open to higher learning. We should never stop seeking the higher truth because there is always more to learn. (That’s what eternity is for—to learn and keep on learning.) When we think we know the “truth,” or “the way,” we cease our spiritual growth. This is the major stumbling block of all organized religions—some more than others.

Anyone who seeks with an open mind is going to get taught, one way or another. Buddha put it this way: “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” Jesus put it another way: “Ask and you shall receive; seek and you shall find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” When we become interested in a spiritual question, we are unfailingly led to the individual who knows and—without being asked—volunteers the information we are seeking. Or, we may “accidentally” discover the answer in the book we just “happened” to pick up. The only requirement on our part is that we have an open mind, a willingness to learn and a desire that “Thy {God’s} will be done in our lives.” The person holding the answer to our question may be a person of questionable attributes, reputation and spirituality.

Steve was such a person. He was a petty thief who also dealt in drugs. Still, he was seeking higher truth, albeit it, in his own way. At the time we met, I was looking for a building for my small church and had been using a Realtor friend of mine, Walt Farmer, to look at many building sites. Quite by accident another Realtor found the building and I made an offer through her. Guilt now set in. It didn’t seem right, perhaps even unethical, to cut Walt out of a commission he had worked so long for simply because a chance comment by someone else led me to the building I was seeking.

I thought of many ways to tell Walt what had happened, and had finally decided to tell a white lie in order to save face, and, hopefully, our friendship. While talking with Steve about something else, he just happened to mention something his dad always said, “You don’t have to be a thief to be dishonest.”

Boy how those words struck home. I called the other Realtor and told her the deal was off. When she asked why, I said that I didn’t like what I was doing to Walt. She wasn’t happy, but she said, “OK.”

About thirty minutes later she called me back and told me she had contacted Walt and they decided it would be OK to split the commission.

The universe works in mysterious ways. It seems that we were supposed to have the building, but everything needed to be on the up and up.

Yes, the universe works in strange ways to get us where we should be and doing what we should be doing. It works for all of us. We only need to be open to it. Nor does our need have to be spiritual…

Jackie, my wife’s daughter, has spent her whole life playing piano and is a wonderful pianist and accompanist. Prior to earning her Masters degree, but after a lifetime of schooling, she developed a condition very much like carpal tunnel syndrome. The condition was so bad she could no longer play more than five minutes at a time. She went to several physicians, including the best that was recommended. The prognosis?

Operate. Unfortunately, she was told that if it was operated on she might never be able to play again. Now what was she to do?

She prayed about it. She asked that her name be put on various prayer chains and life went on. This was the condition when, through a very unique set of circumstances, she unexpectedly ran into one of her old music teachers, a Dr. Wienrock. She told him what had happened to her hand and he immediately made an appointment for her to come to his studio and sit down and play. After he watched her for a few minutes, he said “You’re holding your hands wrong. Play like this. . .” and demonstrated hand position. That’s all it took.

It was that simple. She’s never had a problem since, and she plays many hours a day.

Because practice makes perfect, the more we live out of our spirituality the more spiritual we become. The more spiritual we become, the more the universe responds to our needs—all of them. We do this by opening up and learning to trust our lives to God and by learning to trust others. Since the Kindred Spirit Connection works on a “like attracts like” principle, in order to trust people we must, ourselves, be trustworthy. Since not all people are honest and trustworthy, the Kindred Spirit Connection seems to take over by guiding us to those people who are honest and trustworthy. (When I surrendered my painting business to God, for example, my business associates changed abruptly. It was not a slow transition, it was immediate.)

Since not everyone in the world is trustworthy, when your intuition cries out to be careful, listen to it. That warning voice is also a part of the Kindred Spirit Connection warning you to BEWARE! In my dealings with people, this voice has never failed. And, when I’ve ignored it, problems have always ensued.[4]

Equally necessary for spiritual growth is the ability to question religious dogma. Simply by virtue of being human even the most holy of people are fallible, and all the earth’s religions are founded and headed by people. Though based on truth, all the major religions have had intense periods of darkness. The same religion that gave us the New Testament also gave us the Inquisition. Additionally, the Salem witch trials were partially the result of overzealous religious persecution. So, don’t be afraid to question. Only a fool accepts what he is told without question. The churches that made errors in past centuries are no less fallible today.

Doubting religious creeds and dogmas is not the same as doubting God. If the Catholic Church hadn’t made such radical changes in the 60’s, I would probably still be a non-questioning Catholic. Thankfully, all those sweeping reforms made me think. I could not understand why the sins of yesterday, such as eating meat on Friday, were sins yesterday, but OK today. To me that only meant one of two things: either God was wishy-washy and changed His mind a lot, or the Popes were fallible and didn’t speak the word of God as I had been taught he did. In other words:

That original rejection is quite possibly one of the most painfully conscious decisions I ever made in my life. It also opened doors of learning and spiritual growth that would never have been possible otherwise. It is rare that spiritual growth is without pain. It’s like going from adolescence into adulthood.

Why should anyone bother to become more spiritual? Especially if it might be disagreeable or painful?

Because every place we look in our world we see the results of a world populated and ruled by predominantly non-spiritual people. Consider these: Why is there a homeless problem? Why is there less than thirty years worth of oil in the ground, yet we still drive cars and pump oil? Why is strip mining still allowed? Why is fracking allowed? Why is there graft in politics, business and elsewhere? Why is there rape? Why is there theft? Why is there murder? Why are our forests decimated? Why do athletes¾already making millions¾go on strike? Why are people starving in South Africa? Why is pornography, in any form, such a big seller? Why does ISIS doing televised beheadings bring in more recruits? And the list goes on and on.

The answer is simply because our world is rich in religion while languishing in spiritual poverty. The majority of our world only pays lip-service to God, but is too preoccupied with personal gain to seek God on a one on one basis. Simply believing in God is not enough. Even Satan believes in God. Simply going to church is not enough.

All non-spiritual people lack harmony with the universe. Universal disharmony always results in personal chaos because it is an unnatural state. If, as on our world, there is a disproportionately high ratio of disharmonized people, the entire system becomes infected. There is nothing negative on earth that is not a result of this runaway malignant infection. Nothing.

Earthly peace and harmony can only come through the spirituality of the people living here. When we become spiritually alive, we become active and participating citizens of the world, allowing the Spirit of God to be reflected into the world by our individual acts. Every spiritual act is the act of agapé love.

You can’t work for God without being spiritual. Spirituality is alignment with God and the Universe. By becoming spiritual persons we are automatically ushered into the Spiritual Family of this heavenly Kingdom. Some people refer to this as being “Cosmic Citizens,” and, indeed, the term is synonymous. We cannot be in the “Kingdom of God” (Cosmic Citizens) without being spiritual human beings first. Cosmic citizenship is not an inherent birth right. It is an earned privilege.

The God who holds the planets in the palm of His hand, sets the suns in their orbits, separates the seasons and causes the rain to fall on the just and the unjust, is the same God who allows us to do just as we jolly well please. Coercion and compulsion are not a part of the universal scheme. We must choose our own path in life, and the choice is solely ours.

Ultimately, the choices are simple and only two: we live either in the light or in the dark. When we choose the light, we are kindred spirits. Kindred spirits always receive help. When we choose the darkness, we’re on our own.

I suspect (though I can’t prove it) that a hundred years ago people were more spiritual than today, simply because life was harder and more uncertain, causing people to reach up in prayer more. As a result of their prayers, they lived closer to God. Today there is too little time, too much noise (such as loud music, inane prattle, the roar of traffic and the meaningless babble of TV). All these things continually fight for possession of our minds, inhibiting thought. Life is so hectic there is no time to oneself for contemplative meditation.

Spiritual growth cannot be developed without periods of contemplation or meditation in isolation. This is why all the great Biblical prophets spent large amounts of time in the desert, alone. During biblical times, (and even up to a hundred years ago) traveling alone could mean days—or even months—of isolation with no one to talk to but yourself, your pack animal, God, or all three. For those who were spiritually inclined, it was only natural to spend large amounts of time in prayer. Since all prayer gets answered, the prophets who made it in to the Bible are the ones who listened, heard and responded.

Praying in isolation is also why Jesus said, “When you pray go into your private room…” which is strange wording because in those days nobody had a private room—houses were predominantly one room affairs).

Most of us can’t take Sahara sabbaticals for our spiritual growth. But, we can spend at least a few minutes of every day in seclusion, tucked away in our own private corners, talking—and listening—to God. This time alone will help our sanity, help us relax, and help us to grow spiritually. By asking for help while meditating and praying we are unconsciously accepting the love of God, whether we realize it or not.

[1] I understand that abused women also do this

[2] At the time of this updated version, it is June of 2018. This type of bias and hatred are now present in our own government. It may had always been there, but now it’s blatant. There are and will be negative repercussions for this unless it changes abruptly.

[3] The spiritual sinner cannot remain a sinner. Eventually a choice must be made and growth must begin. The thief on the cross made an earnest last ditch decision. His growth was to begin in another realm.

[4] Because of biological “save the species” instincts, I’ve observed that women often read other women more accurately, while men often read other males more accurately.